The Cure for Being Judgmental



Have you ever just felt “judgy”?

I’ll never forget a young woman coming up to me after a message, her freckled face beaming from ear to ear. She said: “Pastor AJ, God has been convicting me and helping me with my attitude—I’ve been feeling so “judgy” lately!”

Her heart for God made me smile along with her. “Judgy”… I had never heard that expression before. But I could totally relate to what she was referring to. Many times, I’ve caught myself with the same attitude.

What about you? Have you ever gotten all “judgy”? You know, that funky mood where you’re critical of everything and everyone? I call it being a “Mr. Crabby-pants”. Or you’re looking down your nose at somebody. Or maybe it’s a just particular person that bugs you, and you don’t know why.

What I have found is that being critical has a lot more to do with me than it does with the person I am judging. A critical spirit tells me everyone else needs fixing, when really it’s my crummy attitude that needs the fixing.

Bottom line: to be consistently uncomfortable with people is often a sign that I am uncomfortable with myself. We treat others as we treat ourselves. The more insecure you are, the more uneasy you feel around others, and the more harsh and negative your judgment towards them. 

In other words, show me a critical person, and I’ll show you an insecure person.

So what’s the antidote for being judgmental? 

Receive the love of God for yourself.

Personal revelation of our love and acceptance in Christ will drive out that icky insecurity! When you start to know—to really know, to have a personal knowledge of— God’s love and acceptance for you, you will become a more secure person. That’s just how it works. Love brings security.

Meditating on His acceptance of you brings a sense of safety to your soul. God’s affirmation is a massive anchor for our self-esteem; it becomes the foundation of our identity in Christ. In this way, love always brings a healthy, balanced view of self.

How do we receive His love? The more we understand and confess what His Word says about us, the more we allow God’s love to seep down into your soul. And the less “judgy” we will be.

I am loved… I am a child of God.

To believe what He says about us makes us able to live in our own skin. To be ourselves. To be. And to let others be. You can be a little easier on others. You can treat them how your Heavenly Father has treated you.  If God is okay with you, then you can be okay with yourself.

You are accepted, beloved… What’s the use in pulling other people down?

You are affirmed… Why any need to prove you’re better than someone else?

Here’s the truth: Critical people carry inner turmoil, and it’s simply spilling onto others. That’s what criticism is: an overflow… an overflow of inner judgement. An overflow of inner shame. An overflow of self-hatred and negativity. An overflow of inner fear (or what we call insecurity).

But God’s love quiets the storm and allows mercy to be given and received. Through Christ’s indescribable gift, the Father welcomes and accepts you! Through his great love, He gives you freedom and the room to grow. He gives you a chance! So now, you can give others a chance.

Be humble, accept His acceptance of you, and let God stay the Judge. He’s better at it anyways. You’ll start to be more comfortable with yourself, and a lot more comfortable with others!

Try it now. Say this out loud:

I am loved.

I am accepted.

I am not perfect.

I am something better: I’m wanted by God.

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